I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
