I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
bring money and cleavage
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
