The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I think i got beer on your cat.
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