I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
