There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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