Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize