Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
