You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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