I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
