ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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