there's paper in my vomit.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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