i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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