I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
