last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize