Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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