i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
