he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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