There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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