I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
