i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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