About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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