I've blown a few things in my day
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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