I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
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some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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