i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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