Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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