so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
