my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
