I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize