i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
