Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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