currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
