i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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