We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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