She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
