Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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