so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
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