You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
