I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
