I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
