can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
