some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Enjoy the penises
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
