either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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