After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
