Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
