with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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