Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize