Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
