she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
