Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
