she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Houston, we have a blender
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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