If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
