Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
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