Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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