glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
