I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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