I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
