I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
