Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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