I want to make a zoo with you.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
