he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You are the jesus of drinking
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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