My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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